Stop.

A few weeks ago, I was walking with my ten year old cousin to the pet store to buy some cat food. And it is during these moments of solitude, that him and I have our heart-to-hearts. It started with comics, moved on to movies based on said comics, his very dumb cat and hyper baby brother, Top Gear (He's an amazing little fellow), and then about when I would start working.

He asked me how I was going to get to and back from work and I said "Well maybe Ma and Ta (My parents) will let me take the car." and he asked me why I couldn't just use public transport. I replied, saying that some days, I may be late, and it won't be that safe for me to travel alone, using public transport. Why, he asked, and I said, I don't want to get hurt, or even worse, killed. He looked at me dead in the eyes and said "Dee dee, That stuff only happens in the West. It's so much more safer here."

In a way, I am both happy, and disappointed with this revelation. Happy, because my baby brother is shielded from the harsh violence committed by and against our fellow citizens everyday, and disappointed, for the very same reason.

After the horror of the infamous Delhi rape case in December 2012, one would think that the attitude of this nation would soon change. There would be a grand epiphany that would lift our fellow Indians from the darkness and show them that this one case isn't the only crime that has been committed against women over the years.

Oh boy was I wrong.

It makes my blood boil, to see that the number of cases, instead of going down, has shot up. And what's even more shocking, is the fact that these monsters are now targeting young girls. Girls as young as four years old.

I am speechless. I look around me and see so much danger now, lurking in every nook and cranny. Honestly, I'm beginning to get a little too paranoid to do simple things like stepping out of my home and running errands for my mother.

What happened to all those protesting crowds? Those outraged youth of the nation, holding demonstrations in the name of women's rights? What happened to all those laws that were passed so gallantly so that the women feel more protected? Please don't tell me that it was a phase or a passing fad. This isn't a fucking fashion statement or a 'happening thing' that the popular kids are participating in. Has it honestly affected a portion of our vast nation?

I think most of my angry outbursts were spent on a very long telephone call with my friend. I kept telling her how I just wanted to get out there, and defend all of us. We expressed our shock and fear about how we will never feel safe out on open streets, even when we're wearing our baggiest jeans and T-shirts.

And hey! Now we don't even need to fucking worry because the focus has moved on to little kids! I mean, c'mon man, easier targets, a breeze to handle, and they probably won't tell a soul. What's next, little boys? Special needs kids? Oh wait that ALSO happens. Because it's a ruthless world out there that just doesn't care anymore.

I've typed this out before, and I will type it out again. We NEED to fight back, because I want to be able to walk down the streets in my city, and feel at ease. I don't want to constantly look over my shoulder to check if I'm being followed, or hit groping perverts in crowded streets. My friend fears that my anger and short fuse will get the best of me and will prove to be fatal  at the end of the day. But I'd rather go down fighting than letting some creepy asshole get away with it easily.

But seriously tell me, why is this situation getting harder to understand? WAKE. UP. NOW. Or anarchy will prevail.

Summer '13.

Summer is here!

(Awkward silence..)

Yes, I know.. I haven't posted in a while. I.. Lost my net book recently.. Her display wore out. (More like the screen cracked. Just a little.. OKAY FINE IT WAS HORRIBLE. I couldn't recognize the screen any more. *sniffs*) So right now I've 'borrowed' my dad's laptop.

Oh! Happy new year! (A little late for that but hey! Better late than never, yeah?)

ANYWAY.

A lot has happened in the past five months. A lot to complain about and a lot to mock. But a thing of significance that has happened is the fact that I just got done with college. And everyone is saying their goodbyes and I thought maybe I should too.

I was a part of a good institution. (I'm not saying wonderfully uplifting or downright ridiculous things about the place. It was lovely while it lasted.) For five whole years I have aged with its walls, in two different institutions and two different buildings, learning to live life.

I've never had 'school' friends. I grew up labeled 'weird' for most of my life. Junior college showed me who my real friends were. Degree college cut that population again to one, and then some. I say goodbye to my 'last minute friends'. Those ones I had the absolute luck to get close to in the nick of time. Thank you for being my love gurus, my therapists, my hankies, my tonics. Thank you.

I say goodbye to the first person I ever called my best friend. We've had our bumps and I may feel like I've been left on the sidelines a couple of times but you'll always be my closest and oldest friend, and I am going to miss you terribly every time I see a hyper puppy, or if it's sunny and bright outside, or if I have chocolate and no one to share it with. I'm very jealous of the people in Delhi who will try their best to get acquainted to you, because they know that you're a wonder. I love you. Know that.

I say goodbye to the path that I walked up and down for five years, growing old with the trees that flank its sides. I wave goodbye to the penguin bin and the bunny too.

I bid farewell to my teachers, most of them who I never got along with. Thank you for trying to give me an 'education'. I apologize for the snide comments and rude remarks. (P.S; I'm the one who took your red pens.) 

I say goodbye to my family away from family, the university choir. I cried, I will continue to cry and hurt because I will miss being a part of that energy. The outsiders will never know, and they will never understand.

I say goodbye to old romances that bloomed and died, the loves that were proclaimed and the secrets that were made sacred for forever and a day. Thank you for giving me tales of love to tell my children. I do appreciate it.

And lastly, I say goodbye to my old self, because you were a curious thing, and it's good to grow. It has been a little hard to come to terms with the idea of growing up and growing on, but there is a comfort to it. I guess it's time to embrace future me. (I hope she doesn't have grey hair.)

Here's to new beginnings.